1. |
Prickhammer Supreme
02:44
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"You're a long way from home, boy.
Let me show you how we stream out in God's country."
Driving down the long hard road.
With a tall stiff can of RX to lighten his load.
Next stop, Kalamazoo.
His spud cannon is coming for you.
FURBURGER, blastin' through his stereo.
Suckin' so hard on that Marlboro.
This orange beast is a hell of a rig.
His tiny hands make it look so big.
His tiny hands make it look so big.
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE TINY BALLS!
Nicotine overload.
Three packs a day on his shitty show.
Did you know cigarettes are bad for you?
No shit Sherlock.
(Get banned.)
Get a fuckin' clue.
I got sick from his second-hand smoke.
His stream environment is a fuckin' joke.
Derris lost shotgun couldn't pull the trigger.
His little girl's afraid of n*****
(Dark and scary?)
His little girl's afraid of RACISM
(Dark and fuckin' scary!?)
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE BALLS!
BIG DICK!
LITTLE TINY BALLS!
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2. |
King of Potatoes
02:36
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Sour Kool-Aid running through your veins.
Trying not to fade into obscurity
Sour Kool-Aid, where comedy is made in the shadow of the MAN.
Yo yo, It's me, Dan Paul of the Sour-Koolaid Show!
Who's ready to laugh!?
Check check. Uh, Is this thing on?
Digital Computer Entertainment.
Gotta roll the D20.
Digital Computer Entertainment.
When you roll with the twitch OG.
Digital Computer Entertainment.
Dan Paul's got what you need.
Digital Computer Entertainment.
If what you need's B-Grade comedy.
Ladies and gentleman.
He may suck at video games.
He may be dropping numbers faster than a hot potato.
He may neglect his children... but he sure as hell doesn't neglect his comedy! Live, here in the studio.
It is my great pleasure to introduce...
DAN PAUL.
*10/10 stand up here*
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3. |
Hakuna Fhtagn
01:44
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Cthulu Fhtagn, what a bald British cunt.
Cthulu Fhtagn, couldn't even finish a 24-hour cast of Boshy...
It means no wo-
Wait, wait, wait.
Guys, this shit's been done before.
Well, why don't we do something like this?
Me me me MEEEUUGGGHHHHH!
Little Cthulu is what he calls his cock.
His tentacles dish out waves of orgasms.
His girlfriend has her own emote on his channel.
How deep did she go beneath his fathoms?
The quill scratches the parchment and eldritch wych lights dance.
As souls bound scream into R’lyeh, he swells and grows.
What's he playing?
Darkest Dungeon!
What's he playing?
Fuck your face.
What's he playing?
Darkest Dunge-
He got green tinge right in his minge.
What's he playing?
Darkest Dungeon!
What's he playing?
Probs not Boshy!
What's he playing?
Darkest Dunge-
He waits for you beneath the Reading.
The quill scratches the parchment and eldritch wych lights dance.
As souls bound scream into R’lyeh, he swells and grows.
He never finished Boshy.
His fans gave cash for it.
They want their money back, you scumbag.
You fucking twat.
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4. |
Mighty Cuntforce
03:55
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カントフスルアセムブル!
Hi! I'm Derris, The Cuntforce of Power!
Hi! I'm EXP, The Cuntforce of Courage!
Hi! And I'm Wetty! The Cuntforce of Wisdom!
Together, we're the Cuntforce!
We've got a power and a force that you've never seen before.
We've got the ability to leave you dripping, red and sore.
No one will ever take us down.
Except for Twitch's censorship law.
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
We're massive fans of anal intercourse!
We know, the fate of the world is lying in our hands.
But, we're cunts. So fuck every prick across the land!
No one will ever take us down.
Except for swarms of rats in Vermintide.
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
We slip it in just like a trojan horse.
Time for another classic Wetty Whine.
*Wahwahwahwahwahwahwahwahwahwahwah*
*Michael Phone Call Interlude*
*daiosj8AS&*(&(*&dsaiojdu*()&()&*
No one will ever take us down.
"Uh... except for us actually because we're representatives from Twitch."
"We've had some uh, complaints."
"Yeah there has been some complaints."
"We're gonna have to censor this."
Go Go Mighty ****force!
**** **** **** **** ****
Go Go Mighty ****force!
**** **** **** **** ****
Go Go Mighty ****force!
Ya ****y ****ish ****ing ****force!
Aw, fuck this shit. Censorship fucking sucks!
Go Go Mighty ****force!
Oh, why the fuck do they have to make it beep for, the dickheads!?
Go Go Mighty ****force!
Fuck this shit. Let's give it one for the road boys.
Go Go Mighty Cuntforce!
Ya CUNTY CUNTISH CUNTING CUNTSLIT CUNTFUCK CUNTBAG CUNTWHORE CUNTFORCE!
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5. |
The Hobbit Way
02:09
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Hi. Hello, I'm Morgan Freeman.
This is my authentic Morgan Freeman voice.
Let's take a look at what the Happy Hobbit is up to in his humble kitchen.
Oh, Shiver me timbers, he's making a spot of tea.
And playing the only the only game he knows how.
Dark Souls.
And he will try not to get hit once.
No hits! (No hits.) [Sometimes he gets hit?]
That's the Hobbit way.
Kill him in the dick. (In the dick.) [Stab that knob!]
That's not even gay.
Fingering his nan in the kitchen.
That's the Hobbit way.
and incest isn't gay. (Well it can be?)
Arrr me hearties.
Put the kettle on. (Kettle on.) [Make us a cuppa!]
Hobbit's gonna slay.
He just PB'd Sif (Is that a fuckin' woof with a sword in its mouth?)
YES.
Don't you know about this game?
It's Dark Souls that he plays.
That's the Hobbit way.
Take it away Morgan.
Well, I guess it's time to shred.
Oh, I'm on fire.
I'm really cooking.
(Oh I'm really moist.)
Morgan's bangin' Nan in the kitchen!
Estus flasks are banned in the kitchen!
A spoon sure beats your hand in the kitchen!
That's the Hobbit way.
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6. |
Deck the Balls
02:15
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Ayyyy, It's fuckin' Christmas innit?
IT'S FUCKING CHRISTMAS INNIT?
How good is Christmas?
It's the fuckin best time of the year.
It's really awesome.
It makes me want to sing!
Deck the halls and suck my balls.
(tra la la la la la la la)
Santa's cock is pretty small.
(tra la la la la la la la)
Went to Chaddy 2AM!
Fa la la la la la la la la la
More fuckboys than Bethlehem!
Fa la la la la la JESUS DIED
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Santa touched me in the most inappropriate way. HEY!
Jingle balls, jingle balls, slapping on my chin.
Oh, what fun it is to slide down St Nick's long and thin!
Christmas is kind of shitty. (Shitty.)
You could even say it blows. (Like my Dad!)
And if you ever met him. (Daddy!)
You would feel his penis grow. (Like a mighty oak!)
All of the other Daddies. (Daddy...?)
Used to watch his dong with glee. (So jealous)
Two shakes post-Yuletide pissing. *toilet flush sound*
Then he stuck it deep in me. (OOOUUUUUhhh)
Then one steamy Christmas eve.
Mummy joined the fray. (Hooray!)
Daddy with my hole so tight. (Ooh)
Won't you let it snow tonight?! (Ugggh)
Then daddy Turkish gripped it. (You what?)
Tied it with a pretty bow. (Tied where!?)
Saving the greatest present. (eeeuughh)
Letting all the egg nog flow.
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7. |
||||
The names Khal Drongo I perfected the slow flow.
Got a huge fuckin mullet and an XR8 on low-lows.
Grabbed mah bitch off Gumtree, hell of a hoe, yo!
Stubby in my hand while she gives me a slow blow.
Hand it to Jah-mae, your sister needs a spank.
Dress by her ankles, smokin' all that dank.
Fuckin and suckin' her way to the Iron Bank.
Yo! it's just a prank, to be frank, she's quite a skrank!
Khal Drongo why'd you got to be so mean to me?
It's hard to be a member of your family.
Now see I'm the motherfuckin' mum of dragons.
Got a sick dole payment and my tits aren't saggin'!
Hey, come on now yer the moon of me life.
Got a tat of yer name to prove that yer me wife.
Next to the Southern Cross, by the Ned Kelly.
We'll cross the Narrow Sea straight into Bali.
Tyrone with his sick as Subaru.
Imp my ride, skids, and drags with his yobbo crew.
Aint got no time for kings or rings or shiny things.
Just drinks to drank and pills to fucking ping.
Hey, Khal it's Shaddi, got some "little fingers" in.
These bickies are hektosh, they'll make you fuckin grin.
From ear to ear as you shuffle at Revolver.
Habibis wanna hold ya, just like I fahhhrkhghrgirenn told ya.
Awww piss off shaddi ya stupid fuckin wog.
You're a dog cunt. He's me sun and stars.
He doesn't need your pills, your "Habibis" are molls.
Suck on a fuckin' kebab, I'll twist off ya balls.
Oi Kelly C, don't step to Shaddi.
We went to high school straight outta Broady.
He got an ENTER score of 43.
Made a mint, but he's skint cause he smashed into a tree.
Long live Khal Drongo!
You fuckin' mong ho!
Smashing some cones like his dear Kelly C.
Watch him punch through a slab of Bundies every Friday night.
You'll come a'waltzin' Dothraki with me.
Long live Khal Drongo!
You fuckin' mong ho!
Smashing some cones like his dear Kelly C.
Watch him punch through a slab of Bundies every Sat'dy night.
You'll come a'waltzin' Dothraki with me.
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8. |
||||
Subhuman trash.
Worse than Martin's asshole.
Oh my god, what a jaw!
MAN bracers are lame!
Welcome to MANkind.
In the beginning, there was but one broadcaster.
He wasn't any good, but he was there!
He has played a fuckton of games.
Dark Souls 1!
Dark Souls 2!
Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin!
and more recently Dark Souls 3.
His Batman speedrun is legendary.
What won't our fair MAN do?
Follow him on his epic journey!
Follow him on his not so epic Twitter!
He's not even fuckin' verified.
You're in the MAN cave now, baby!
He walked through the flame.
The world burns away as he streams video games.
Behold a pale ghost, no sign of a tan.
No Gods or Kings, There is only MAN.
MAN looked down upon the earth.
Bathed in the righteous glow of the Foobar visualizer.
And he saw that it was good!
This bobble-headed Skeletor is no mere mortal.
And although twitter refuses to believe it...
He is a fucking influencer!
(Does that mean he gives people the flu?)
They obviously haven't tuned in for his meandering rants about nothing.
With his weapons grade philosophy!
Yes! MAN will lead us to salvation.
But get out of his backseat.
MAN rides alone.
He walked through the flame.
The world burns away as he streams video games.
Behold a pale ghost, no sign of a tan.
No Gods or Kings, There is only MAN.
Verified...
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9. |
Ode 2 Twitch
04:19
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STRIMMELINA:
Gee I hope I make it here in Broadcaster Land...
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
Oh Strimmelina Mon...
Stick wid me and you gonna go straight to dee top of dee directories!
STRIMMELINA:
Oh boy Rasta Crab Bob Ross!
I just set up my Patreon!
I'll be ready to quit my job at the Fro-Yo store any day now!
Tee hee hee!
CHAT:
Oh my god, grill!
10/10 would fuck.
Why is this whore always whining?
Oh I want to anal you.
PRICKDOG THE MOD:
Now, now chat!
Strimmelina ain't no slunt bucket.
She's the fresh faced, starry eyed hopeful this land needs!
Why, the Grand Wizard of Twitch will partner her in no time!
CHAT:
Not if she's like Wetty... LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL!
STRIMMELINA:
Rasta Crab Bob Ross, how many concurrent viewers do I need to meet the Grand Wizard?
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
Please child, call me Daddy.
STRIMMELINA:
Ah okay.... What a strange place this is!
TWITCH WIZARD:
And it's about to get a whole lot stranger...
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
Oh Strimmelina, do you have what it takes to be the best?
STRIMMELINA:
Oh yes Rasta Crab Bob Ross I really think do!
PRICKDOG THE MOD:
Have you thought about text-to-speech donations and song requests?
STRIMMELINA:
Well I guess that could work?
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
And let's not forget third party sponsorships.
STRIMMELINA:
Hmm, but what if my numbers start to dip?
PRICKDOG THE MOD:
Don't worry sweet girl, just stage a little nip slip!
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
A little tit never hurt nobody mun.
STRIMMELINA:
So basically you're saying to put my heart up on the shelf.
Now tell me why I can't just be myself?
TWITCH WIZARD:
Insolent fool, are you forgetting your place?
You'll never be partnered! You don't have what it takes!
So cut the cute act, your stream's a disgrace!
Your "so called" passion won't win you this race!
STRIMMELINA:
Just let me be! Let me stream my favourite games!
RCBR & Prickdog the Mod:
Not just EA's latest garbage. (Mun)
TWITCH WIZARD:
Alright my dear, but first let me drop all your frames!
PRICKDOG THE MOD:
So what you want is your content to ring true?
STRIMMELINA:
Now you're catching on Prickdog!
RASTA CRAB BOB ROSS:
Dat's a great idea child! Smoke weed and paint trees too!
STRIMMELINA:
I think that's more your thing 'Daddy'!
STRIMELLINA:
I won't watch the numbers.
To hell with sub goals.
My channel will grow and it won't cost my soul.
So basically I'm saying, there's one thing that I know.
Not my tits, my heart will be on show!
TWITCH WIZARD:
How could this be?
STRIMMELINA:
Witwix is raiding!
TWITCH WIZARD:
They actually love her?
STRIMMELINA:
Just got a host from Dick Hammer!
TWITCH WIZARD:
But she's not showing any skin?
STRIMMELINA:
MAN re-tweeted the show!
TWITCH WIZARD
She must be using view-bots? This bitch has to go!
STRIMMELINA:
I can't believe I was lead astray for so long.
TWITCH WIZARD:
NO! You weren't meant to make it this far!
STRIMMELINA:
With the help of my friends, I could never go wrong.
TWITCH WIZARD:
She's grown too much! Partner her...
STRIMMELINA:
Just look at this sub button, isn't it neat?
With all these day one's I can finally eat!
So basically I've made it. I didn't give up on my dream!
So look out world, it's time for my next stream!
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10. |
Derris-Kharlan Melbourne, Australia
Nathan Antony, a.k.a “Derris-Kharlan” is a composer from Melbourne, Australia.
Streaming and Download help
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